People Keep Pushing Back — How to Create More Buy-In and Less Resistance

Jun 30

Written By Mara Ergas

You may be experiencing this if:

You walk into meetings expecting resistance before anyone has spoken
New ideas or initiatives seem to get questioned immediately
You find yourself over-explaining or defending decisions
Team conversations feel more like debates than discussions
You leave meetings wondering why people seemed more resistant than the situation warranted

After enough leadership experience, it's easy to start anticipating pushback.

You've seen it before.

You've lived through difficult rollouts.

You've learned to prepare for objections.

The challenge is that sometimes the preparation itself starts shaping the conversation.

The key insight is this: People aren't just listening to your words. They're responding to your energy.

When leaders anticipate resistance, they often walk into conversations already trying to overcome objections that haven't actually been raised.

Without realizing it, they start:

And the conversation begins before the conversation begins.

People pick up on tone.

Pace.

Urgency.

Certainty.

The message underneath the message.

And when communication starts feeling like persuasion instead of collaboration, resistance often increases.

Not because people are difficult.

But because people want to preserve a sense of autonomy and ownership.

Notice when you're preparing for a battle that hasn't happened yet
Before an important conversation, ask yourself: Am I preparing for the people in front of me — or the people in my memory?
Sometimes we're responding to yesterday's resistance instead of today's reality.
That distinction matters.

Listen for urgency in your own voice
Not urgency about the situation.
Urgency to be understood.
Urgency to get agreement.
Urgency to avoid pushback.
Those are different things.
When leaders carry that urgency into the room, people often feel it immediately.
And they respond accordingly.

Say less than you think you need to
Many leaders become more long-winded when they're nervous.
More data.
More evidence.
More explanation.
More convincing.
But often, fewer words create more trust.
For example, instead of spending ten minutes building a case for a decision, try: "We'll be implementing this next month."
Pause.
Then move into conversation with the next step.

Replace convincing with curiosity
One of the fastest ways to reduce resistance is to stop trying to eliminate it.
Instead, invite people into the process.
For example:
- "What challenges do you see?"
- "What concerns should we think about?"
- "What might make this harder than we realize?"
Notice what's happening here.
You're not giving away the decision.
You're inviting participation.
And participation creates ownership.

Be clear about direction and curious about implementation
Many leaders worry that curiosity will make them look uncertain.
But certainty and confidence are not the same thing.
For example: "We'll be implementing bedside shift report beginning next month."
That's direction.
Then: "I'd like to hear what challenges you think we're going to run into so we can address them before rollout."
That's curiosity.
Strong leaders do both.

People are often far more collaborative than we expect.
The challenge is that when we prepare for resistance, we sometimes communicate in ways that invite it.
A little less convincing.
A little more curiosity.
A little more trust that people can think with you.
That's often where buy-in begins.

Mara Ergas

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