Still Doing Work When You’re Off — and Can’t Fully Unplug

The situation

Even when you’re technically off—after hours, on a day off, or on vacation—fully unplugging can feel difficult. 

Despite clear handoffs and coverage, part of your attention remains on work.

Thoughts about what might be happening in your absence surface—staffing gaps, team dynamics, unresolved issues—often paired with quiet rationalizations like “I’m just checking” or “It will only take a second.” 

As a result, time away doesn’t feel like true rest; it feels like risk.

What’s really happening

This pattern usually isn’t about poor boundaries.

It’s about identity.

Many leaders were trained to equate constant availability with responsibility.
Being responsive feels professional.
Being needed feels valuable.

So when you step away, your brain starts protecting that identity.

Adult development researchers Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey describe this as an “immunity to change.” Even when we want a different behavior, an unconscious belief keeps the old one in place.

Often the belief sounds like this:

If I’m not available… then I’m not a good leader.

The problem isn’t unplugging.

It’s the assumption that leadership requires constant presence.

What helps

Shift from constant availability to intentional leadership presence.

• Notice your current pattern

  Start by telling the truth about what you actually do when you’re off.

  You might realize: “When I’m away, I still check email a few times a day.”

  Seeing the pattern clearly is the first step to changing it.

• Reduce the pattern slightly

  Change rarely starts with a dramatic break.

  Instead, experiment with a smaller shift.

  You might say to yourself: “If I usually check four times a day, I’ll check twice.”

  Small adjustments make the change sustainable.

• Name the belief underneath the habit

  Ask yourself what you’re protecting by staying connected.

  Complete the sentence: “If I’m not available, then I’m not taking care of my team.”

  Once the belief becomes visible, it becomes flexible.

• Let the team navigate without you

  When you step back, the system doesn’t stop.

  People adapt.

  You might return and realize: “Someone handled the situation I normally would.”

  What felt like risk often becomes development.

• Redefine what “taking care of the team” means

  Leadership care doesn’t always mean protecting people from difficulty.

• Sometimes it means allowing growth.

  You might begin to think: “Building capability is another way I take care of my team.”

  That shift turns absence into leadership development.

Great leaders aren’t valuable because they are always reachable.

They’re valuable because their leadership builds capability that doesn’t depend on constant presence.

Listen to the podcast episode

🎧 Still Doing Work When You're Off? It’s Time To Break The Pattern — Ep. 60