When Coaching Feels Awkward or Hard to Sustain

The situation

You know coaching your team matters — but the idea of scheduling a formal sit-down can feel uncomfortable, intimidating, or unrealistic. Closed-door meetings take time, can feel heavy, and don’t always lead to real change.

Meanwhile, day-to-day behaviors keep showing up: frustration, over-control, hesitation, disengagement — and you’re not sure how to address them without making things worse.

What’s often happening underneath

Coaching is often framed as something formal and corrective, when in reality, the most powerful coaching happens in ordinary moments.

People don’t change when they feel judged. They change when they see a better version of themselves they hadn’t noticed yet. Small, genuine reflections — offered in real time — can reshape how someone sees themselves and how they show up far more effectively than a scheduled performance conversation.

What helps

Think of your workload as a game of dodgeball—not everything should be handled the same way.

• Glass balls are non-negotiable. These are tied to safety, compliance, reputation, or high-stakes relationships. Dropping them has real consequences, so they require consistent attention.

• Rubber balls are important but flexible. They can be paused and picked back up later without significant impact.

• Foam balls are low-stakes. These are often optional or loosely defined tasks that can be delayed, delegated, or declined.

• Energy balls are the work that fuels you and drives meaningful progress. Protect at least one of these—this is where momentum and engagement come from.

The goal isn’t to do everything—it’s to know what not to catch.

• Cap what’s actively in play

  Too many active priorities dilute your attention and slow progress.

  You might say to your team: “We have five million things we’re being asked to do, but we only have bandwidth for one million — so which ones are we choosing?”

• Resize before you say yes

  Instead of committing to the full ask, scale it down to something manageable.

  You might say: “Instead of launching the whole program, let’s start with a two-week pilot and see what we learn.”

• Delegate with clarity

  Delegation works best when ownership and expectations are explicit.

  You might say: “You’ll own this piece — here’s what ‘done’ looks like, and we’ll check in next Friday.”

• Make trade-offs visible

  Leadership sometimes requires allowing a small loss to protect a bigger win.

  You might say: “We may let this metric dip temporarily while we implement the change that will improve results long-term.”

• Keep a visible parking lot

  Track what you’re intentionally not doing right now so nothing disappears or lingers in your head.

  You might say: “Let’s put this on our parking lot and revisit it next month so it doesn’t get lost.”

Listen to the podcast episode

🎧 The Magic Mirror Method: It’s More Effective than Traditional Coaching (Ep. 32)