When You Feel Blindsided by Pushback or Resistance
The situation
You’re trying to lead thoughtfully and do the right thing — introducing change, offering feedback, facilitating collaboration — and instead you’re met with resistance, defensiveness, or tension you didn’t expect. Meetings derail. Conversations feel harder than they should. You walk away wondering what went wrong and why leadership feels so exhausting.
What’s really happening
You’re not just dealing with individual behavior — you’re inside a system. In complex environments like healthcare, people are constantly reacting to one another in reinforcing loops. When you’re too close to the action, it’s almost impossible to see patterns clearly — including how your own leadership moves may be shaping the response you’re getting.
This is where the concept of “getting on the balcony” matters. By stepping back and observing the system — not just the moment — you gain insight into the dynamics at play and the leverage points for real change.
What helps
Shift from reacting to observing:
Pause and look for patterns, not one-off events
Ask yourself: What role might I be playing in this dynamic?
Get another perspective from a trusted colleague or mentor
Make one small change in how you show up — ask more questions, slow the pace, create space instead of filling silence
When you change your part of the dynamic, the system responds differently. You don’t need to control people — you need to see the system more clearly.