When Your Leadership Isn’t Landing the Way You Intend

The situation

You’re doing your best to lead well — but something feels off.
The same issues keep resurfacing. Conversations don’t land the way you expect. People go quiet, defensive, or disengaged, and you’re not entirely sure why.

You may be getting resistance, silence, or strong reactions that feel disproportionate to the situation — without anyone clearly naming what’s wrong.

What’s often happening underneath

This is often the sign of a leadership blind spot.

Blind spots aren’t flaws or failures. They’re patterns in how you show up that are obvious to others — but invisible from your vantage point. They form because leadership moves fast, and your brain relies on habits and shortcuts to keep things moving.

As your role becomes more senior, blind spots tend to increase — not because you’re doing something wrong, but because fewer people feel safe telling you the truth.

What helps

Here are practical ways to start surfacing blind spots:

• Ask for advice instead of feedback
  Try: “If you were me, what’s one thing you’d do differently in how I ran that meeting?”
  Advice feels safer and reveals more honest insight.

• Watch for patterns, not one-offs
  Notice when people consistently go quiet, tense up, or disengage. Repeated moments usually point to something worth examining.

• Pay attention to tone and body language
  You may feel neutral inside, while others experience clipped tone, crossed arms, or urgency as pressure or shutdown.

• Use a trusted mirror
  Ask a peer or mentor: “What’s something I might not be seeing about how I show up?”
  Give them explicit permission to be honest.

• Model curiosity about yourself
  When you openly examine your own blind spots, it creates psychological safety for others to do the same.
  

Listen to the podcast episode

🎧 Blind Spots That Quietly Sabotage Your Leadership (Ep. 41)