When You’re Second-Guessing Yourself as a Leader

The situation

You may notice this when:

• A conversation or project doesn’t go well

• Feedback feels heavier than it should

• You hesitate to stretch, speak up, or try something new

• You start questioning your competence instead of the situation

Instead of getting curious, you get careful.

This is common in fast-changing, high-stakes healthcare leadership roles.

What’s often happening underneath

Your mind may be treating struggle as a verdict, not information.

In psychology, this pattern is often described as fixed mindset:

• Difficulty feels like proof something is wrong with you

• Feedback feels personal

• Not knowing feels exposing

What helps

Shift how struggle is interpreted — from verdict to information.

• Notice the moment you shrink

  Pay attention to when you start playing it safer instead of stretching.

  For example:

  • A conversation falls flat and you hesitate to speak up next time

  • Feedback lands and you become more cautious instead of curious

  • A project stalls and you quietly question your competence

  This is often the moment confidence quietly contracts.

• Reframe difficulty

  Instead of treating struggle as proof something is wrong, ask: What might this be training me for?

  For example:

  • Conflict may be training you to stay steady under pressure

  • Uncertainty may be building your tolerance for not knowing yet

  • Feedback may be sharpening judgment, not exposing weakness

  Difficulty can be a teacher — not a threat.

• Separate capacity from identity

  Remind yourself that not knowing how yet is not the same as not being capable.

  Struggle often gets interpreted as:

  • “Maybe I’m not good at this.”

  • “Maybe I’m not cut out for this level.”

  Instead, practice seeing it as:

  • “I’m learning something new.”

  • “I’m in a growth edge.”

• Add the word “yet”

  Gently update fixed statements by adding one word:

  • “I’m not good at conflict… yet.”

  • “I don’t feel confident at this level… yet.”

  That small shift keeps learning open instead of shutting it down.
  

• Get curious instead of critical

  When you notice self-judgment, ask: What am I protecting right now?

  Often it’s a sense of competence, credibility, or safety — not laziness or lack of care.

Confidence grows from learning your way through challenges — not avoiding them.

Listen to the podcast episode

🎧 The Confidence Boost Every Healthcare Leader Needs (Ep. 52)