Your Team Feels Divided — How to Help Them Find Their Way Back to Each Other

May 12

Written By Mara Ergas

You may be experiencing this if:

There’s tension on your team that no one is naming directly
People are pulling into smaller cliques, or “sides”
Conversations feel shorter, colder, or more transactional
You find yourself scanning interactions, trying to read what’s happening underneath
The emotional energy of the team feels heavy, even when the work is getting done

Often, there wasn’t one big moment.

It built slowly — through small misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or disconnection over time.

And now, the team doesn’t feel like one team anymore.

When teams start to fracture, it’s easy to assume something is wrong — with the team, or with your leadership.

But the key insight is this: Team fractures are usually a response to something deeper.

Stress.Change.Feeling unseen or excluded.Loss of trust or psychological safety.

Cliques often form because people are trying to feel safe again.

And over time, people stop responding to each other directly —and start responding to the story they’ve built about each other.

That’s when:

The problem isn’t that rupture happened.

It’s when the team doesn’t have a way to repair.

Slow down before trying to fix it
It’s natural to want to restore harmony quickly.
But moving too fast can skip over what’s actually happening underneath.
Take a moment to understand the dynamic before stepping in.

Get curious about what people are experiencing
Start with individual conversations.
Not to figure out who’s right — but to understand what people are carrying.
For example: “What has this felt like for you lately?”
This helps move people from accusation…back to their actual experience.

Name what’s happening — gently and directly
Most teams already feel the tension.
The silence around it is often what makes it heavier.
For example: “I’ve been noticing some distance and tension across parts of the team lately. That’s not unusual when people have been under pressure for a while. But I don’t want us to keep carrying it separately.”
This lowers defensiveness — and opens the door to honesty.

Structure the joint conversation so it feels safe enough to be real
Don’t just bring people together and hope it goes well.
Set the tone clearly.
For example: “We’re here because I care about this team — and I don’t want everyone carrying this tension on their own.”
Then guide how people engage:
- Offer ground rules
- Speak from your own experience
- Avoid “they always” or “they never”Listen to understand, not to defend
When people drift into blame, gently redirect: “What was that like for you?”
People soften around experience — not accusation.

Stay steady when it gets uncomfortable
These conversations won’t feel easy.
Your role isn’t to eliminate discomfort —it’s to make it safe enough to move through it.
Your tone, pace, and presence matter.
If your energy says: “This is too much” → people shut down
If your energy says: “This is hard, and we can handle it” → people stay engaged

Focus on repair, not perfection
You’re not trying to make everyone agree.
You’re helping the team experience something different:
That they can be honestThat they can feel hurt or frustratedAnd still find their way back to each other
That’s what builds trust.

Team fractures don’t mean your team is broken.

They mean something human has surfaced — and there’s an opportunity to build something deeper through repair.

Mara Ergas

Your Team Feels Stretched — How to Share the Load More Effectively