When One Staff Member Is Draining the Team

The situation

You have a team member who challenges everything.

They question new initiatives.
They sound skeptical in meetings.
They may come across as negative, blunt, or hard to please.

And part of you wonders: Is this person dragging the team down?

What’s really happening

Cynicism is often mistaken for disengagement — but they’re not the same.

Disengaged staff have checked out.
Cynical staff are still paying attention.

Cynicism usually comes from caring deeply, combined with past experiences of feeling unheard, dismissed, or burned by change that didn’t actually improve things. What looks like resistance is often frustrated commitment with nowhere productive to go.

Left unaddressed, cynicism can spread.
But when it’s acknowledged and engaged, it can become one of your greatest assets.

What helps

Instead of trying to shut cynicism down, redirect it.

• Acknowledge their perspective

  Start by showing you’re listening.

  You might say: “I hear your concerns.”
  (or, in her phrasing: acknowledge that “their concerns are valid and that you’re listening.”)
  
  

• Invite them into problem-solving

  Shift from resistance to partnership.

  You might ask: “What ideas do you have for improving this?”
  
  

• Start small with ownership

  Give them a meaningful place to contribute.

  You might say: “I’d love your input on this — can you take the lead on improving this piece?”
  
  

• Follow through visibly so trust can build

  Show that their input leads somewhere.

  Implement their suggestions and let them see the impact.
  
  

• Recognize contributions publicly

  Reinforce engagement and momentum.

  You might say: “I want to highlight the impact you made here — this really improved how we’re working.”

You’re not trying to change who they are.
You’re giving their energy a place to land.

Listen to the podcast episode

🎧 Why Your Most Difficult Staff Member Might Be Your Most Valuable (Ep. 11)